1000 questions

here we are. its been 1000 posts here @ pieceoplastic.com.
so here’s a silly test for a silly blog.
[damn, i almost forgot i had this test that i had seen here quite awhile ago]
well, i figure, if you still reading this ridiculous blog you deserve to know what a naughty and perverted punkass bitch mofo i am, no?

( ) i never have been drunk
( ) i never have smoked pot
( ) i never have kissed a member of the opposite sex
( ) i never have kissed a member of the same sex
(x) i never crashed a friend’s car [i have no friends, so…]
(x) i never have been to japan [this is high on my to-do list]
( ) i never rode in a taxi
(x) i never had anal sex [its so unhip to admit this]
(x) i never enjoyed it [yeah and how could i enjoy it if i never did it]
( ) i never have been in love
( ) i never had sex
( ) i never have had sex in public
( ) i never have been dumped
( ) i never shoplifted
( ) i never have been fired
( ) i never have been in a fist fight
( ) i never had a threesome
( ) i never snuck out of my parents’ house
( ) i never have been tied up (sexually)
( ) i never have been caught masturbating
( ) i never pissed on myself
( ) i never had sex with a member of the same sex
( ) i never have been arrested
( ) i never made out with a stranger
( ) i never stole something from my job
(x) i never celebrated new years in time square [and why would i?]
( ) i never went on a blind date
( ) i never lied to a friend
( ) i never had a crush on a teacher
(x) i never celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans [god no!]
( ) i never been to Europe [???]
( ) i never skipped school
( ) i never slept with a co-worker
( ) i never cut myself on purpose
( ) i never had sex at the office
( ) i never got married
( ) i never got divorced
(x) i never had children [i guess abortions dont count.. err]

and may i add some interweb rites of passages:

( ) i never have opened a spam email
( ) i never have dated anyone i met online
( ) i never had cybersex with a stranger [who for all i know prolly was a 50 year old, fat, sweaty office clerk]
( ) i never have subscribed to a porn site
( ) i never have sold anything via ebay
( ) i never have downloaded mp3s via p2p
( ) i never have downloaded and used cracked software
( ) i never have downloaded an entire movie
( ) i never have posted 1000 entries to a blog

About Jan Zuppinger

Jan Zuppinger has been writing this blog since 2002. He likes to grow vegetables. He likes to eat them too. He has opinions on everything, but sadly no one cares. Jan Zuppinger is not joking, just joking, he is joking, just joking, he's not joking. *click.