things aren’t what they used to be

predator style shoppingits interesting what you get to see when you go downtown on a saturday morning quite early [7ish]: heaps of girls with hard nipples wearing very tight tank tops japanese tourists taking fotos of impossible things in impossible positions [i actually saw one japanese tourist woman get down on her knees to take one particular foto – and she was wearing white pants while doing so].
but anyway, after observing japanese tourists on foto safari thru bern for awhile, i went shopping in the organic sortofsupermarket we have here in bern [vatter].

as i made my way thru the store [hunter/gatherer style as dave barry has pointed in his column, which i had read just before] i thought i had hit the jackpot. soupstock was on my list and i found a package with a pricetag that said 2.15. now this was clearly a mistake, normaly this goes for 11.50, which i was able to confirm on other packages. but this one said 2.15. black on white, no tampering needed.
wooo, dude, i thought, finally this overpriced motherfucker of a shite store is giving me back some of my hard-earned [he he, i am on the dole] cash. so i when i went up to pay, i was all exited.
but the young guy behind the cash register totally ignored what it did or did not say on the pricetag, he held the item over the scanner, the one that goes be-be-beep all day long [people working cash registeres must dream of that be-be-beep every single night, i betcha] and the thingie displayed 11.50.
what to do?
first i thought i should just let it go, but feeling kinda devious today i decided to check out what happens, if i do mention it.
so i told the guy: “this is priced at 2.15, you know”. the guy – prolly about 17, bad skin, on his first summer job, his name is walpen and in german thats just one letter away from puppy dog – mumbeled something, i dont know what, i did not understand him, but he continued to add up my goods as if nothing ever happened.
this was another chance for me to let it go. but something pushed me on.
i said, “well normally you would have to give it to me for that price, you know…” he kept mumbeling and proceeding as if nothing happened.
at this point i got a little pissed, i am afraid – i mean, the nerve of this guy –
and i said, “well, then do so…”
now the guy got all flustered and in the process turned as red as the tomatos i was also buying. he did not know what to mumble to me next, so he turned around to his tamil co-worker on the next and only other open cash register and mumbled something in her direction.
the co-worker seemed to understand him somewhat better. at least she let out a shriek of sorts, then she got up, snagged the package and ran with it downstairs.
now it was my turn to mumble, “the price is not whats for debate here, i was just trying to insist on my rights as a customer…”
now, since the co-worker had left the only other open cash register to run downstairs my cash register was the only one open, and a line quickly started to build and mean stares from other customers were begining to be sent in my direction.
i gave up, i said, “forget it, just give it to me for the price the be-be-beep spat out.”
but we of course had to wait for the co-worker to return, which she did after an embarassing minute filled with mumlings and weight shifts. now the worst part, she came back with another package that said 11.50 on the price tag.
that did it, i took out my kalashnikov stormed out of the store totally embarassed and humiliated, and i will never ever go shop there anymore [till at least next weekend]…
[img src: dave barry’s column at miami herald]

About Jan Zuppinger

Jan Zuppinger has been writing this blog since 2002. He likes to grow vegetables. He likes to eat them too. He has opinions on everything, but sadly no one cares. Jan Zuppinger is not joking, just joking, he is joking, just joking, he's not joking. *click.