is it sunday? well i think i found the perfect thing then.
the following are patients complaints, collected by the nurses at a veneral disease clinic in st. paul. sex somehow does not look so tempting after reading them…
if you can stomach it, find the whole list here
“I have reason to believe my penis was exposed to LSD. When I ejaculate I have flashbacks.”
“I went to a party, had a few beers, woke up in a closet later on and my face stunk and my dick hurt.”
“How am I supposed to do lap dances smelling like a dead fish?”
“I got the dripper.”
“I have food chunks in my urine.”
“I be messin’ with my ex-wife and my girlfriend and I don’t trust either of them.”
“My whole body smells like a menstruating woman, especially my armpits.”
“From the looks of my penis, I believe they are sucking the adrenaline out of me.”
“I think they hypnotized me and put implants and poltergeists in my brain and had sex with me.”
“My pee smells like ham.”