i spent this last month in a peaceful house in the mountains trying to figure out my life. thing is, i am now officially a social welfare case waiting to happen. in november i received my last unemployment insurance check (in switzerland you receive 70% of your previous salary during 400 workdays, then you’re out). so now i am living off my savings until they run out and then i will have to apply for social welfare…
needless to say iys not looking rosy. thats why i decided to take a month to try and figure out what i want to do next.
it was great. i re-started to meditate, read books, take walks, eat healthy. i found peace. and i did think about my life and my goals in life lots. i decided that the most important thing is and will always be to find inner peace. but in regards to my “career” i am even more confuseled than i was before. i dont have a fucking clue what i should do…
it did not help, that the slight hope i had nurtured of get our project wikiCH funded by sitemapping.ch (the swiss governmental fund for media art projects) was crushed brutally with a negative response just this last week…
so a month went by and feel even more at a loss about my professional future than before.
whats wrong with me?
most people are driven to push forward in their careers, because they are unhappy with their lifes and/or because of their ambitions. well, with me the problem certainly is, that i am neither very unhappy with my life nor am i a very ambitious person. in fact, my life is quite great as it is. i am never ever bored, quite the opposite actually. i enjoy having time to do my own projects. actually the only problem is that these projects (blogs, media art, dj-ing) dont make money. there is absolutely no existential angst driving me to seek out a career. but the money on my savings account will run out and then things will get existential.
the other thing is, and i hope this does not sound too arrogant, that i think that with a man of my many skills and talents the job should find me and not i have to find it.
in all humility, i am good, i am intelligent, i have much experience in many different areas. so use me! i’m available. what are you waiting for, world?
its not like i am not looking for a job. but since i cant seem to find one, maybe we have to switch this around here and the job should find me. that might work…
how do you sell ideas?
i have great ideas. but it has always been my problem, that i have no clue of how to sell them.
i have all these ideas all written down, lined out, drawn up. but i am completely stuck on how to sell these to the right people. selling ideas is risky business. i mean, if i just send the company an email, they’ll respond with a friendly “yes, its a great idea, that we have been developping ourselves for years now”, just lying through their teeth, and in that way elegantely appropriating the idea. i never even thought this was possible until a “friend” pulled this one on me… so, i need a manager… maybe i should hire a manager? yeah, right… ugh
for now i prolonged my stay in the mountains and after this wknd in bern i will go hide up there again. maybe inspiration will hit me… what do they say? hope dies last.