teh l33tness

ding, back online, back multi-tasking, juggling 1 million things, all my peace and equanimity gone and it only took minutes. zing zonked. oink. i am getting better and better at this. if better is indeed the word here.

today as we drove back from that lovely peaceful house in them (overrated) swiss mountains, we made two horrible discoveries:

1. bschütti

yup, it’s that time of the year again when swiss farmers dump shitloads of …erm… shit onto fields aka bschütti = that totally smelly stuff with that super distinctive “bouquet”. bschütti is created by gathering all the smelliest stuff that cows and other animals release over the winter, the smelliness is then improved in containers, in which this stuff can fester and develop mold for a few months. then, come spring, the whole stinking mess gets dumped from tractors onto fields, so that everybody can hate farmers for a few days.

suddenly it occured to us, we have both only ever smelled this stuff in switzerland.
or have you ever smelled it anywhere else besides here?
it must be illegal in all other countries, we went on to speculate, because of the germs.
of course, sounds logical, or does it not?

2. capital impressions

you know how on swiss freeways cities and regions have these silly signs with claims, don’t ask, it’s a swiss thing. so when we approached bern, our sad and very very boring hometown, where we live, because .. erm … we dont know why, we had to read on a sign, that bern now has very sad new claim, and that new claim is, hold your breathe: capital impressions.
sadder than sad. pathetic. desperate. as impressive as capital an error, if you ask me.

as usual in such occasions we tried to imagine the meeting where the guy from the PR agency pitches this new claim to the comitee.
wow, must they all have been on drugs that day. and i want some of those drugs. right about now.

About Jan Zuppinger

Jan Zuppinger has been writing this blog since 2002. He likes to grow vegetables. He likes to eat them too. He has opinions on everything, but sadly no one cares. Jan Zuppinger is not joking, just joking, he is joking, just joking, he's not joking. *click.