forever war rages inside me

i am reading forever war by joe haldeman. great book to read in times of war, bullying us-presidents and general havoc.
“a book that’s near perfect” it says on the cover and i think i agree.
the book plays in a not so distant future, where a war has to be kept going at all times, ‘coz otherwise the whole economy would colapse. the “enemy” lives lightyears away and could never possibly attack earth, nevertheless they get slaughtered.
sound familiar?

on a more personal front – so to speak – a forever war is raging within me.
what is my talent?
and who wants it?

i am starting to get tired of trying to get things started.
i am starting to think i am not needed here.
i am contemplating retirement, moving out of this world, into a refugium and just sitting there, waiting for love to uncover.

i feel restless today, almost manic. there are no jobs in the paper. yet in order to receive my unemployment cheques i have to make up fake job applications.
but that’s lying. i don’t want those jobs. my talents lay elsewhere. i have a great sense of humour and a huge dick.
and thats about it …

i want to be an urban love warrior. a peace & love agent.
i want to change the world starting here, inside me, first.
i need space and quiet for that.
i need love and tolerance for that.

yet the world seems to get smaller and more narrow each and every day.
forever war is forever? please make it stop …

About Jan Zuppinger

Jan Zuppinger has been writing this blog since 2002. He likes to grow vegetables. He likes to eat them too. He has opinions on everything, but sadly no one cares. Jan Zuppinger is not joking, just joking, he is joking, just joking, he's not joking. *click.