1’000’s of mini-beckhams!

found this extremly funny piece in todays guardian, g2, the readers pick of the guardian 2003.
originally published as “Pure theatrical Viagra” by Jim White (G2, March 26 2003).

We all know how David Beckham celebrated his goal against Argentina in last summer’s world cup in Japan. He ran to the corner of the ground where England fans were in profusion and, his face split with joy, held out the front of his shirt as if asking his mother to explain a particularly stubborn stain…

Apparently, at that point, celebrations back home got a lot more fundamental than Beckham’s odd shirt behaviour. According to the supermarket chain Asda, there has been something of a boom this month in sales of baby products – precisely nine months on from Beckham’s goal. More nappies have been sold this month than is usual, sales of wetwipes are up by 12,000 packets a week, and little pots of unidentifiable mush labelled Lancashire hotpot have been flying out of stores everywhere as if rocket-propelled. Everywhere in England, that is. In Scotland, sales have remained steady. Unlike the performance of the Scottish football team…

It was more likely the drink talking – the result of the biggest expression of public inebriation since VE Day (a vast street party which itself had significant parenting consequences nine months on). The match kicked off late-morning British time, and was largely watched in pubs. A whole afternoon of pleasurable rejoicing left millions of us in a relaxed and accommodating frame of mind. And while the male portion of the population discovered it was almost as accurate as Beckham, the female part of the bargain lay back and thought not so much of England as of the finest example of English manhood since Cary Grant. Trust me, it wasn’t us that got them all excited.
i wanna have your baby, becks

About Jan Zuppinger

Jan Zuppinger has been writing this blog since 2002. He likes to grow vegetables. He likes to eat them too. He has opinions on everything, but sadly no one cares. Jan Zuppinger is not joking, just joking, he is joking, just joking, he's not joking. *click.